Warning: If you look like me, if you are black, if you are brown, this letter might not work with your parents. Fuck, would definitely not work with my parents. I know that for sure. However, I found this letter dazzling. I told myself why not share this great piece of work with my readers and pals. I was reading the book “Influence” written by Robert B. Cialdini and found this letter on page 15 of the book written by a college student. It was beautifully written. JSYK – this book keeps coming up again and again when asked about books. Highly recommended by Tim Ferris and Ramit Sethi. This book also came up when I did my interview with Doug Hoyes. Anyhow, if you are in college and failing a course or two, this letter might be your BFF especially if you are a chick. I definitely think your parents will have a second thought or see your failing grades in a proper perspective. Easier said than done, of course.
Ready? FYI – This letter might taste better than your favourite dessert. Heck, way better I would say. This is the original script from the book.
Dear Mother and Dad:
Since I left for college I have been remiss in writing and I am sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down, okay?
Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out the window of my dormitory when it caught on fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory, and my jump, was witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me in the hospital, and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnout dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It’s really a basement room, but it’s kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven’t got the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.
Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection which prevents us from passing our pre-material blood tests and I carefully caught it from him.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I am not infected, and there is no boyfriend. However, I am getting a “D” in American History and an “F” in Chemistry and I want you to see those marks in their proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,
Sharon may be failing chemistry, but she gets an “A” in psychology.
If you are in college and plan to use this letter, please do so. Obviously, I would love to know how your parents reacted. Shoot me an email. Again, if you look like me, if you are black, if you are brown, I take zero responsibility xoxo